Get over your Hill
by TakeneNe
Summary: How to take over the world you didn't even know existed and wreak havoc gleefully along the way. AKA that one story in which Loki and Madara join forces during the Chitauri Invasion and everything goes downhill from there. Then there's Kurama, somewhat happy, murderous team mascot everyone adores.
1. HASHIRAMA!

**Disclaimer: Naruto characters belong to Kishimoto-sensei and all things Marvel to their rightful creators. Internet broke me so I'm just here for a ride.**

Title: _Mumford & Sons – After The Storm_, because it's awesome and maybe doesn't go well with the crack, but it's kinda my low key anthem for defeated, longing, lost villainous souls. Also because I worship the band.

 **A/N:** Inspired by a fanart and a grief after Infinity War

 **Warnings/tags** : crack treated seriously, crossover, bromance, lots of swearing and destruction, canon typical violence, shameless abuse of genjutsu, dimensional travel … more to be added as the story progress.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: HASHIRAMA!**

Something was off.

Something was very, very not right.

Madara didn't really register that he was somehow transported to some unknown, distant land, until the dust from his collision with Hashirama's wooden Thousand Hands cleared, but when he finally did, his first reaction was anger. Blinding rage. Apparently Idiot Senju used some new, freaky jutsu on him to get him out of his hair and now the moron was nowhere to be seen. Oh, Madara was so going to skin him alive the second he saw the cheerful oaf next. He couldn't just… just… ditch the fight like this! Madara deserved better! He might've been a little bit crazy but he was still a dignified opponent! He had the Kyuubi! The Mangekyou! The freakin' giant Susanoo armour, for Sage's sake!

Well, speaking of weapons.

The Kyuubi was nearby, quiet and suspiciously unmoving. Huh. He must've been chakra-drained by that weird jutsu way more than Madara himself to not wake up yet, and that was saying a lot, given he was a chakra construct and thus _undrainable_ as such. But the Fox being apparently asleep meant also that Madara didn't have to deal with him in an instant, thank _fuck_.

His second reaction to this unsuspected change of surroundings was… confusion. Because when Madara actually managed to shake off his fury enough to take a good look around, he realized he's never seen _anything_ even _remotely_ like this before.

There were buildings _bigger_ than the Kyuubi next to him, _way bigger_ , and there were _numbers_ of them. The whole fucking ocean of ginormous concrete monsters, stretching as far as he was able to see. And _everything_ was covered in lights. But it wasn't fire. There was not a single candle in sight. And the _noise_. The constant, loud noise, full of eerie, unnatural, high pitched sounds, and the background fluctuating hum, intertwining with hundreds of voices, echoing above the water.

What the hell.

Madara was no sensor. His chakra was wild and rapid and jumpy, the perfect mirror of his personality, really, and taking control over it was never easy. Not in the way that would allow him the deeper sight anyhow, anyway. So Madara couldn't just lie a finger on the ground or turn on the flashy make-up in the manner the Senju bastards did, and be able to tell how many people he was surrounded by or how advanced chakra usage in this place was. What he could do, though, was to summon his hawk and take a look from up high for a better perspective. Yeah.

 _"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_ Quick bite to the thumb was all it always took to get his feathered friends to appear, subtle spark of chakra and—

Nothing happened.

Huh. How… unexpected. Madara could feel his chakra levels being annoyingly low since he's woken up, but not _nearly_ low enough to fuck up a simple summoning. And he certainly couldn't have been put inside some chakra-suppressing barrier, because Kyuubi was there too, and he _was_ chakra—

Small fireball escaped Madara's lips before his consciousness could kick in to stifle the show.

So he _could_ use jutsus. But if he could use jutsus and his summons still wouldn't appear, he must've been somewhere they didn't have access to. Which was… kind of ridiculous, as the only place summons usually couldn't appear was the sacred place of other summons species.

So where the fuck could he possibly…

The realization hit him like a solid punch to the gut and Madara _squealed_.

Oh no.

 _Oh fuck no._

 **Oh holy fuckin' mother of holy fuckin' Sage no!**

Something must've happened when he and Hashirama both tried to force control over the Kyuubi, releasing ridiculous amounts of chakra in the process and it wasn't _Hashirama's jutsu_ that kicked him out of the Fire County. He didn't know how or why, but apparently he was now stuck with the Fox in some other, bizarre dimension with no easy way of return.

He was going to _murder_ the idiot Senju when he got back. _If_ he ever got back. He will _eviscerate_ him. Slowly, painfully, _gleefully_ and without an ounce of remorse.

But if that's the case, firstly he needed to get out of sight, and fast.

There was no freakin' way the guards of this… this monstrosity wouldn't notice gigantic Fox appearing out of the thin air in an open for plain view, green area by the riverbank, middle of the night or not. And if he was really in some different… plane, then as long as he didn't know what his potential freaky opponents were capable off, temporal disappearing would be the best option.

Even Madara wasn't arrogant enough to wage war with a powerful nation, and judging by the scale of everything around they really had to be, without at least basic understanding of their firepower. Not when he had literally no clue what that could've been.

Madara hastily evaluated his options and a growl escaped his lips as he punched the nearest tree.

The problem was Nine Tails. Sleeping, unmovable and immediately pissed off upon awaking Nine Tails, he couldn't just leave behind. Sure, as draining as it was, he could summon the Fox to the safe location once he's found one – and he was sure it would work just fine as the Kyuubi was stuck here with him – but leaving him unprotected seemed… unwise.

Well, waking him up, and then riding an over three hundred feet tall Demon Fox throughout an unknown land seemed absolutely, ridiculously stupid on the other hand, so it wasn't even an option to ponder.

Madara sighed. He couldn't believe he was actually worrying about the Kyuubi, but given the circumstances he hasn't seen much other choice.

"So fucking troublesome," he spitted, irritated, and checked up his gear.

He wasn't pleased to confirm he was running low on his supplies after the fight with Hashirama, and wasting most of his chakra tags of this one while not having an Uzumaki around to restore them will suck later, but what the hell.

Attaching tags to still unconscious Fox didn't take very long and when Madara was sure they covered the whole perimeter around the beast, he _shunshined_ away, disappearing deeper into the woods. If he was lucky enough, nothing would happen until he could find a good hiding spot and summon the beast, both of them in one piece. If not… Well. The amount of chakra furious Kyuubi would generate when attacked would be more than enough to power the seals and therefore release _his own_ chakra to struck attackers with mild genjutsu. Of course, completely concealing something like Kyuubi, especially while in motion would take much more than just a cheap trick like that, but bewildered opponent is always better than clear-headed one.

It'll have to do.

o0o

Roughly at the time Madara mysteriously appeared at the banks of the Hudson River, in the deepest, most secured pits of SHIELD secret facility the Tesseract started to wake.

* * *

Cross-posted from AO3


	2. Be what may, but off my way!

**A/N:** Some Loki POV in this one :3

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Be what may, but off my way!  
**

The forest was thick and green and old, and sometimes when his eyes were closed and his mind was clear, it felt almost like home.

Well.

Until the Kyuubi was trying to eat him, that is. Again.

Dealing with the Fox was hard. He couldn't indefinitely keep him under Sharingan control or even his huge chakra reserves would run out eventually. _Talking_ to the beast didn't stand high on his _fav-activities-to-kill-time-with-whilst-stuck-Sage's-know-where_ list either and even if he _knew_ that convincing the Demon to cooperate was his best bet, he couldn't bring himself to do that just yet. Not when the Kyuubi wanted to murder him on the spot not only for _genjutsuing_ him and accidentally bringing him along to a different universe, but also…

Well, there was a tiny bit of miscalculation on his side. Who would've guessed this weird people here would be immune to genjutsu?

 _He_ certainly didn't thought it possible.

Madara sighed. Gathering information of his new whereabouts wasn't as easy as he would've wished. Using _Henge_ and masquerading through the nearest city was simple enough, but as much as it pained him to admit… he felt a bit lost. Firstly, all those flickering devices this world seem so full of tended to malfunction whenever he tried to use chakra on them, so he stopped trying to do that after the street light exploded over his head. Then there were those huge screens in seemingly random spots, showing maps and adverts that moved when you touched them. All of those were in some strange language written in weird, round letters, though, and Madara for the love of it couldn't gather _anything_ of what they were saying. Sure, he wasn't stupid. He was able to recognise the names of the points he already visited and his field orientation was _excellent_ , but he still didn't know shit about this world.

Except that it didn't use chakra at all.

Well, _fuck_.

He really needed to think about something, fast, because no matter how good of a ninja he was, if he had to stay here for any prolonged period of time, he needed to accommodate at least a little at some point. And that required _knowledge_.

Rubbing his eyes in a tired gesture Madara turned from his spot on a wide branch to look at the monstrous Fox, sprawled in the little valley beneath him. The place was perfect. The valley was deep enough for the Fox to not stick out of the trees above and wide enough to get a little comfortable. Madara on the other hand felt perfectly fine camping in the woods for a while, hidden well enough to not attract much attention and being able to ponder and plan his next moves.

o0o

Madara was resting on his branch, staring at the stars so different that those on his old sky when a sudden, huge clash ripped the silence apart and the trees shook violently, losing the leaves in the shockwave. Then something exploded.

Huh.

Madara didn't think it was a very normal occurrence to happen in the late evening, in the forest with seemingly no inhabitants other than himself and the Fox. In fact, no normal occurrence at all, from what he gathered about this world so far, and that could only mean something interesting was happening, thank _fuck_. Not that he was bored all alone in this strange, big, unfamiliar world, but he was always the man of _action_.

Another explosion lit the sky and Madara grinned, rising to his feet. Apparently there was a battle nearby and a high levelled one at that, judging by shaking trees and a firework show worth of an Uchiha clan's best sparring session.

Sneaking up to take a look couldn't hurt, now could it?

o0o

"Fools," Loki smiled to himself as he watched his brother fight the Man of Iron. To be fair, it _was_ rather stupid of them to assume Loki would patiently wait until they're finished levelling trees and if he didn't, in fact, intend to _be caught_ in the first place, he would've disappeared the moment they left him on his own.

He had a beast to catch, though.

Waiting for his little pawns to stop playing wasn't an option he was much opposed to, really, but he would be endlessly grateful if they made it quick at least. He'd much preferred calm interior of their funny ship than a first row, rocky sit on this ridiculous puppet show.

Gods, this was almost depressing.

Loki could've sworn he had more fun drifting through nothingness, truly.

But playing a puppet master had its perks and as long as nobody _noticed_ he was actually following his own plan, things should've gone smoothly.

…or so he thought before a shadow blocked the moonlight from behind him and a deep voice from out of nowhere said in a cheerful manner "Oooh? That's interesting."

For a brief second Loki was genuinely startled that someone managed to sneak up on him close enough to land a blow if they wanted to, without even slightly revealing their presence.

He was almost impressed, too.

"So? What's this about?" Mysterious man sat beside him, expression wary and focused, face turned entirely towards the two figures fighting below them.

There was something playful in his posture, though, some ease Loki only ever saw in those most experienced in the noble craft of battle before and that was enough to raise all of his guards on alert. You didn't simply meet people like that by coincidence on the outskirts of a fierce fray, wandering through the forests in the middle of the night. Experience has taught Loki such encounters were never, ever a mere coincidence, but a scheme crafted by forces one might know nothing about. That it _mattered_ in the long run. If one did, though… may the Gods have mercy over their wretched soul.

Hopefully it wasn't _his_ doom impending this night.

"…and you are?" Loki demanded in response, because _of course_ he was _not_ going to share anything meaningful unless he knew his ground. This man seemed… dangerous, at least. And he was not suited to play with fire just yet. If only he didn't give up his sceptre… The purpose was glorious, though, and sacrifices had to be made.

The only response Loki ever got was a toothy, sharp grin with madness leaking through the broken edges that somehow, just a little reminded him of his own, changed beyond repair so not very long ago. Loki might not have been the most stable or wholesome person in this realm, but he could recognize akin soul when he saw one.

How… very curious.

Intrigued, Loki risked a better glance at this unexpected companion and maybe, just maybe felt the need to find out a bit more about the man's reasons to be here with him – in the forgotten by all things living piece of dull scenery.

The intruder had long, dark unruly hair and was clothed in a heavily looking, leather armour, the sort of which his own people would take into a remarkable battle, and that alone was eerie enough to flair his interest even more. People of Midgard didn't seem to sport that kind of protection anymore, too _old-fashioned_ to jibe with their clever machines and their smart devices.

But it was not the armour that eventually did the trick.

The man's eyes were blazing red, glowing in the dark almost and for a split second Loki's insides _froze_ at the painful reminder of his own cursed origins. But those weren't the eyes of a Jotun. Nor of any living creature he bore the knowledge of, and as such were worth at least further investigation.

"You are not of this realm," he said instead, infusing his voice with a bit of wonder.

"No." Another toothy grin, but this time the man has tilted his head slightly to look directly at Loki. "Same for you, I suppose."

Lightning cut the sky and the sound of thunder reached their ears when Thor called up on his true powers. Well, a bit of information couldn't hurt, Loki decided in a heartbeat, gesturing towards the fighting figures as his mind went through every scenario he could turn this meeting to his advantage.

"I am Loki of Asgard," he pointed with his head for emphasis, "and my _not_ -brother, Thor" — Loki spat and the slight hardening of the stranger features at the mention his oaf of a brother didn't escape his attention. He briefly wondered what kind of familial drama was there to cause it, but… not that he cared much — "is fighting Man of Iron over something powerful I might or might not have in my possession."

Loki smirked as the implication sank in and the man's eyes lit with mischievous interest.

"Reeeally? You don't look like a Shōgi master to me."

"I don't look many things." Of course he didn't. Like his own race for the matter. Loki almost snickered at that thought, and something must've shown on his face because suddenly there was a shift and his mysterious comrade no longer paid attention to the rumbling below, but faced Loki whole bodily, with a wicked grin and gloved hands stroking gently the edges of his armour, impatiently.

"Uchiha Madara," he said after a moment of hesitation and a grin widened. "I believe we could come to an agreement."

Now, _that's_ a win.

"Cheers to that."

And then Madara laughed. Openly, loudly and in a manner that shouldn't suit him in the slightest but did nonetheless, and Loki wondered what mess has he gotten himself into this time. And hoped. Just a little, that maybe for once his plans won't end up a disaster.

"You are most fortunate they are too busy knocking out trees to hear you," he pointed out, relaxing a bit when Madara finally regained his composure. "I might be skilled in the art of stealth and battle, but facing both Thor and the Man of Iron while," he raised his cuffed hands ostentatiously, "not fully capacitated might not end… well."

Madara stiffened.

Loki truly began to believe this man had only two modes changing fluently: mad smiling and dead-serious face. Or maybe somehow both at the same time, too.

Madara meanwhile narrowed his eyes, staring intensively at the cuffs for a few seconds and reaching towards Loki as if in the urge to touch, "They're running on lighting, aren't they?" And there was genuine curiosity in his voice so Loki simply bend over to let him have a go.

"They are restraining my magic, yes."

Madara frowned but didn't answer, touching the device with one hand and focusing on the connection. Loki instantly felt the metal warming up and tried to protest, _"Wait, no! What are you doing?! I need that to catch a beast…!"_ , but it was already too late. Dull snap crossed the air and his hands were free again. Madara's freshly acquired smugness was thoroughly _blinding_.

"You were saying?"

"You _imbecile!"_ Loki's temper broke when the first spark of magic returned to his grasp. "How am I to unleash the monster now, whilst they won't think me capable of holding captive?!"

"Huh." Madara only winked at Loki's sudden outburst, entirely unimpressed. "You want a monster? I'll show you a monster!" And before he could really register anything else, Loki was unceremoniously grabbed by the elbow and _shunshined_ away.

o0o

It was only many minutes later that the Avengers finally noticed the lack of their prime prisoner. What a drag.


	3. When life gives you monsters

**Chapter 3: When life gives you monsters**

Well. That _clearly_ was a monster, indeed.

Loki stared with an involuntary awe at the gigantic Fox sleeping down the valley and once again congratulated himself on picking up the appropriate allies. This sole time, at least. Madara was grinning smugly next to him, hands resting on his hips in the pose screaming of ultimate superiority and self-confidence.

"So? What do we need the monster for?" he asked Loki cheerfully, and the plural pronounce hasn't gone unnoticed. Loki wondered how much of his true plans he should share with this madman, because that the Uchiha was completely and utterly insane he had no doubts. It wasn't precisely frequent occurrence for him to incorporate others into his schemes, though, and the vulnerability it required as a sacrifice for companionship wasn't necessarily what he looked for. But Loki knew better than anyone that he tried, countless of times already, to have things done his way and as disgraceful as it was to admit, very few of his intrigues actually managed to reach success in the long run. So maybe finally it was _time_ to share the mantle.

What could possibly go wrong?

o0o

Madara was fidgeting. He couldn't believe he actually found someone who _understood_ him. And not only that! Loki apparently was some big fish with plans and _means_ , and even if he couldn't help Madara get home, maybe they could achieve something together, here. Because if Madara was to be completely honest with himself, going back to his own world, to dead family, betrayed friendships and dark spirits whispering their way through his grief didn't look like a future he was very keen on to choose. Not when there was an alternative waiting for him with open arms, promising something great and glorious.

Maybe Izuna won't ever forgive him for abandoning his quest of making the world a perfect place, but it wasn't _his_ world anymore and Madara was ready to take a chance that had presented itself without hesitation. Especially now, when he wasn't in this alone anymore. Maybe this Loki guy won't be a total jackass and will help him find a new purpose. If not… well, it wouldn't be the first time Madara had set his very ground on fire just to watch it burn around him.

At least here he had a fresh start. Blank page, with no flawed reputation to precede his actions. Maybe it was all for the better.

o0o

Kurama was watching the Uchiha menace and his new toy through almost closed eyes, pretending to be still asleep and under control. If he could just eat them without announcing his movements first, Frenzy Eyes wouldn't be able to snap control over him again. Quick and efficient. Maybe not exactly _Bijuudama_ class level revenge but if he got to be free, he could roll with that.

o0o

Madara did not expect the Kyuubi to surprise-attack them, but apparently his little trip to the woods was enough to break the Sharingan control. Well, he never promised Loki he was the master of the beast, just that he happened to have one. Details, right?

So when Nine Tails threw himself at them, jaws first, Madara's first instincts to _genjutsu_ everything kicked in, but the beast's eyes were closed and thus they were fucked – the distance between the Kyuubi and the brunch they were standing on was too little to react properly or even _shunshin_ away in time and grab the extra passenger along. Madara saw the gigantic fangs filling his whole world in the heartbeat… and then Loki did _a thing_.

His hands were glowing in green sparks and there was a tension on his face, but… Kyuubi had a huge rubber ball stuck between his teeth and was hissing furiously in a vain attempt to get it off.

That…

That was not something Madara anticipated. Not in the slightest. What kind of ridiculous power was that, anyway?

He was just about to start yelling, too, because what the fuck just happened? He was owed an explanation, dammit! But Loki did something even more bizarre, that forced him to shut up and stare in disbelief as this crazy, crazy man outstretched his hand to the Fox's face and whispered with awe, "You are magnificent."

Say, _what_?

Madara felt lost. Of course Kyuubi was impressive, all power and fire and fury raging to destroy anything on his path, but he never took him for a wonder as clearly Loki was doing right now. Huh. Interesting.

Kyuubi must've thought so, too, because he toned down the hissing a little and twitched as if he saw a three-headed giant slug breathing flames. Well, Madara wasn't very far off from that himself.

"Can it understand us?" Loki asked a few very long seconds later, attention still completely fixed on the Fox, but Madara's mind hasn't recovered from the shock just yet.

"How did you do that?"

"Simple summon, it matters not. Can it?"

And then the insane motherfucker actually _touched_ the Kyuubi and patted him on the nose.

Madara's brain exploded.

He knew he'd have to eventually deal with the Fox and that bringing Loki along would only make it happen faster, but damn if it meant _now_. He and Loki didn't even have the time to discuss anything official – they basically just met, for Sage's sake! – and talking to the Nine Tails without any sort of concrete plans was doomed to failure from the very start! Or so he thought. Before… well, all of this madness happened. So maybe now was as good of a time for negotiations as any. Maybe even Loki would do all of the dirty job for him.

Huh.

"Uhm, yes? When I don't keep him under control, yes, he can," Madara responded finally, but before he could add anything else, loud, angry growl boomed over their heads. It was kinda now or never really.

"Listen, Loki of Asgard, I can't enslave him again while his eyes are closed, so either tell me you can conjure something up to restrain him, or _talk_ him out of eating us, 'cause the beast's pissed at me enough now without adding extra hate to the pile!"

Madara didn't actually acknowledge the unnatural shade of paleness Loki's face turned when he mentioned subjugation and continued to stare at a furious Fox in the futile hope for a one successful Sharingan short.

"There will be no enslavement." The voice was cold and steel-hard suddenly, in the kind of way that always made Madara flinch. His father used to talk in similar tone when the war was at its fullest and then the Senju freak seemed to adapt it as well, for whatever occasion he had to speak about the Uchiha. But Loki's voice wasn't hued with scorn. There was just a hint of grudge and… fear?

"Beast! I, Loki, Prince of Asgard, do hereby pledge to you that no harm is to come your way so long as the treaty talks conclude, not by my hand, nor the Uchiha Madara's." With that, Loki looked straight into Madara's spinning eyes as if daring for a contradiction. He must've found nothing but the dull, surprised numbness Madara's still couldn't fully shake off, because he continued, "Do you accept the terms?"

The growling stopped.

Madara let his Sharingan slip away, not fully convinced any talk could turn Kyuubi off the homicidal path, not when the burning killing intent was still coming from the Demon in overwhelming waves, but to be fair, he never actually _tried_ to _talk_ to the Fox himself. Not the first time he encountered him in the wild after he left the Village, nor later when he summoned him for a fight.

Maybe it _was_ a way after all, though.

Who would've guessed?

The Kyuubi seems to come to a similar conclusion, because the monstrous head slowly nodded in agreement, and even though the killing intent and crazy tension were still there, everything lost a bit of intensity. Loki smirked.

"Excellent. I'll remove the gag now, so please refrain from any hostile actions."

One green flicker later the ball was gone and Kyuubi – eyes still closed – clenched his jaw inches from Loki's head.

 **"Puny mortals!"**

Deep, hoarse roar boomed above them, shaking off leaves from the nearby trees. Madara noticed that Loki definitely turned from just pleased to flat-out smug, the bastard.

"Oh, mighty fox demon! We call for your assistance in the hour of need, to help up gain and rule this world as an equal companion."

Wait, _what?_ When was ruling the world even mentioned?

Madara scowled, trying to process this conversation. Not that he was much… opposed to the thought as he planned something similar for his original plain but damn, that was blatant.

"We shall disrupt the peaceful minds of Midgardian heroes and succeed in summoning an undefeated army from beyond the stars to ensure our glorious victory," Loki continued, smile sparking but eyes cold. Something was not exactly the way it should and Madara was pretty sure he'd have to dig to the bottom of this to actually understand what he'd gotten himself into. After all, he didn't like playing games he didn't know the rules of.

Also fuck, because Madara could almost see the thoughts boiling inside the Kyuubi's head at the moment, and those weren't ones of a pleasant kind. Loki was fucked if he continued in the same manner, it was just a matter of time.

"You have an army?" Madara then questioned, preventively, arching his brows at the Asgardian. "Then what do you need the Kyuubi for?"

The question must've been valid, because there was an uncomfortable shift in the magicians expression and a sudden stiffness to his back. Madara might've been oblivious sometimes or too distracted to notice tiny details, but he was not dull. The opposite actually, and despite his explosive personality, his _people_ intuition was once exceptional. Well, at least before the war… He was a ninja, though, first and foremost – looking underneath the underneath was in the job description, after all.

"Kyuubi?" Loki blinked, turning his face to Madara and tilting his head in a perfectly calculated, playfully confused manner. "Is that your name, then, great demon?" he asked, slowly facing the Nine Tails again.

 **"Of course not!"**

"Then how should we address you?"

 **"Like hell if I'm telling you, damn fleas!"**

Madara couldn't help but snort at such a beautiful, ridiculous example of stubbornness.

"Then you should better get used to being 'Grumpy Fox', you grumpy Fox!" he snarked with a shit-eating grin cracking his face. The offended, murderous snarl and a wave of a particularity nasty killing intent it gained him was totally worth it.

 **"You have to earn the right to use my name, Uchiha! Great Kyuubi will suffice for now"**

"Yeah, you can dream, Foxy."

Madara was a predator and so his smile was rarely pleasant. It never stopped him to use it, though, and so Loki might want to get used to be on the receiving end of a toothy, sharp excuse for a friendly gesture.

"So an army, huh? Wanna share?"

o0o

Far, far away and even further above, the ship hidden on the sky lit to life with its full potential, preparing for a hunt.

* * *

Kurama speaks in bolding, because well, it's not like he has an indoor voice :D


	4. Know thy enemy

A/N: Surprise, surprise, I'm not dead :D If anyone's wondering, the story will continue and will be finished for sure. I can't promise you any schedule, though, as my life turned kinda crazy lately and I need to deal with that first. The chapter's short, but it's been waiting for months to be out so here you are. Hopefully the next one won't take so long ^^"

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Know thy enemy**

Loki was uncomfortable.

Madara's knowing _don't-play-with-me_ look was getting on his nerves and the awareness of time flying from his hands faster and faster with every passing, _wasted_ minute was getting urging. Thanos was waiting for the cube and hadn't Loki opened the portal, the Mad Titan was willing to come collect the gem himself.

It would be easy to just wreak havoc on Thor's beloved planet with gates opened for Chitauri forces and let the heroes handle the mess, but how long would Asgard be safe? How long could he stay, tucked away in a cosy cell, cut off of any news and unable to prepare himself for the oncoming threat? Maybe he was a coward, but the universe didn't deserve to be crushed under Thanos' terrifying rule.

 _Then what do you need the Kyuubi for?_

Madara was no fool, Loki should've known that. He was powerful on his own, too, and didn't seem like a man who would back off from impossible just because it required potentially fatal fight. And if he truly was a warrior of a league Loki thought him to be, to-the-death battle should've been his drill. Also with the chance of fox demon sharing his undoubtedly devastating strength, odds were maybe they _could_ take the Mad Titan down. With enough stealth and a fool-proof plan… maybe it wasn't completely impossible.

Loki knew he wouldn't be able to run forever after _failing_ at his given quest, defeated or not by Midgard's defence that should've been nonexistent.

He let out a heavy sigh, losing his playful composure and sat on the branch, welcoming Madara to do the same with a gesture. Kyuubi snored impatiently from above but that didn't faze him in the slightest.

"It might take a while," he offered, resting his head on his folded hands.

"There is a Mad Titan somewhere there," he began, pointing to the sky with his head, "whose only dream is to destroy half a life in the universe. He believes it the only way to achieve equilibrium and welfare—"

"That's bullshit!" Madara interrupted, looking somewhat disturbed and… flushed? Well, there will be time for his side of explanations later, Loki was sure of it.

"The Mad Titan desires to possess the power of six Infinity Stones, the mighty singularities that collected in one place give the owner immense power equal to none of the other living things. "

He paused, preparing for the big revelation.

"I was sent to Midgard by Mad Titan's finest minion to retrieve a stone residing here with the aid of the other, and to deliver both back to him shortly."

"Soooo… You're a bad guy." It wasn't a question.

"I didn't exactly have a choice in the matter," Loki sneered, trying his very best not to start laughing bitterly. He lost his choices a long while ago. The only thing left for him now was a damage control.

"Not entirely a bad guy then."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, warrior. I have nothing against wrecking up some Migdard to put it in line," Loki conjured his armour in a blink, for a better effect to support his words. "It was my idea, in fact." The armour dissolved as seamlessly as it appeared, but the uneasy vibes it brought along remained. Loki smiled mirthlessly and suddenly felt smaller and more fragile than just bare moments before.

"The universe doesn't deserve what Thanos has planned for it, though."

There. He said it. There was no going back now.

Loki only hoped the Uchiha was indeed someone to be reckoned with as he seem to be.

Madara watched him for a long while, considerate, focused and _intense_ , before he turned to Kyuubi as if in the nonverbal request for aid. His eyes were spinning red again despite the agreed conditions of current debate and suddenly everything stopped making sense. The Demon growled in irritation at first, but a brief seconds later his enormous, furry face spread in a dangerous half-grin that perfectly mirrored the one Madara pulled off so often.

Madara's eyes faded to black again but the unexpected overconfidence that appeared along the strange exchange stayed in place and Loki abruptly had a feeling that he missed something of great importance.

"You wanted to run." Again, it wasn't a question Madara has thrown his way and Loki scowled, because who _was_ this man? Exposing him over and over again, from the very moment they've met. Nobody should've been able to do that. Thor certainly never could.

He didn't respond.

o0o

"Hey, Furball," Madara materialised inside Kyuubi's mental landscape with a quick spin of Mangekyō, in a Tsukuyomi for once not meant to torture or control. The Fox was not pleased, to put it lightly.

All he could do, though, was to hiss and growl, because in the Tsukuyomi world, Madara was the one to set the rules. And so Kyuubi had been re-familiarized with the rubber ball, thanks to Loki's absolutely brilliant idea.

"I'll let you loose if you won't try to eat me. Not that you could, but," Madara showed his teeth in a sharp expression of utter gloat. Kyuubi couldn't really do much, with his paws and tails also immobilized by heavy bars, so he just narrowed his eyes in response and growled louder, but didn't actually move otherwise. Madara simply altered the illusion to let him free, then.

 **"What do you want, Uchiha?"** Unfriendly snap echoed in the non-material space that oddly resembled the old Uchiha compound from the time before Konoha creation. Maybe it was just stupid sentimentality, but in the dawn of what Madara _knew_ would be something big, a little spark of memories felt like a good closure. He started his quest of making the world a peaceful place right there, over his last brother's grave and maybe… maybe now he could make it true. A whole reality away, with a trickster and a chakra ball on his side, instead of a slimy shadow, creeping through the cracks in an old, half-forgotten shrine.

"If you know of any way that could transport us back into our world, better tell me now."

 **"How dare you…?!"**

"SHUT UP!"

 **"NO!"** Madara stared at him in disbelief and irritation and the Kyuubi stared right back.

"FINE!"

The staring contest went on for hours. After all, inside the Tsukuyomi they had all the time in the world. It was Madara that backed off first, though.

With a sigh he blinked, conjured himself a small bottle of sake and scratched his head in an awkward manner than surely would've suited Hashirama way batter.

"Let's start over, shall we?" Madara's voice was calm as he poured himself a generous amount of warm alcohol before looking up on the Kyuubi once again. "You know you won't gain anything by pissing me off and since apparently none of us knows how to get off this reality, it'll be best to just… make a truce.

 **"I'm not negotiating with frenzy eyes,** **"** the Fox still sounded angry, but Madara was slowly starting to doubt he had any other moods to begin with.

"You don't have a choice. I can keep you here long enough to change your mind." He smiled nastily, "The whole fucking eternity".

And it was true. Kyuubi must've been aware of that, too, because it _certainly_ wasn't his first encounter with the technique. Madara was patient, though. After all, it wasn't like he had to experience the time flow at the same rate as his prisoner. Being the master of one's power was definitely a perk.

 **"Tche."**

Kyuubi wasn't happy. He was probably too proud to admit his defeat just like that and Madara got that. But in the circumstances they've found themselves in, forming a united front could only make things better.

 **"I'll talk,"** the Fox finally decided, lowering his head so that he could face Madara eye to eye. **"But only if you swear not to do that. I'd die from boredom."**

Madara grinned, already tasting his victory. The Fox might've been grumpy and vicious, but even he had his weak points. Knowing that couldn't hurt.

"So you don't know how to go back?" At this point the answer was rather obvious, but Madara needed to be sure anyway. He didn't want to go back, he knew that the moment he saw the _possibilities_ he had here, though… If he really wanted to take down that Titan, Kyuubi would be a great asset in the battle.

 **"I wouldn't still be here if I did."**

Mental landscape changed, altered by Madara's illusion and now there were looking at the city, the monstrous, bright, concrete city, full of life and voices, that Madara saw that first night, sprawled beneath them in all its overwhelming glory. Madara _disappeared_ his sake and slowly spread his hands wide as if trying to encircle the whole world.

"Listen up, Foxy," he started, grinning with confidence and just a bit of malice. "Seems like this is our world now, and I don't want anyone more crazy than me to break it."

Kyuubi sneered involuntarily at that bold admittance, and Madara had to agree that yes, there probably wasn't anything more _Uchiha_ he could say at the moment.

"Help me catch the menace." Change in mood was drastic when Madara looked straight into the Kyuubi's eyes, red, ancient and full of fire. And so very much like his own. All the pretence of fun was lost immediately when the business came into play and they both knew it was no light decision to make.

Fighting unknown, deadly force in an unknown, strange world could end up very well, or very badly, after all.

 **"What's in it for me, Uchiha?** **"** The Kyuubi might not have the proper lips and face to form a wide range of expressions, but smugness and a sense of danger were universal, not matter the species.

"Let's make a deal"

o0o

Loki didn't know what changed, but something visibly did. The sudden shift in dynamics was clear as the light of day and the only question was: _how?_ _When_ did those peculiar creatures had a time to converse and _why_ Loki was left out? The spinning eyes apparently held more mysterious powers than he first suspected and it wouldn't be wise to oppose the power he did not know.

Loki never denied the claim to flee as it was the only choice he'd seen to delay the raising of the Mad Titan before. But maybe not anymore.

"We will catch the madman," Madara said plainly, for the first time without mischief and well hidden glee, and the Kyuubi grunted in agreement, his giant form vibrating with malice and unshed violence.

"Where's the catch?"

Nothing was ever granted without the price, Loki knew that better than anyone.

"Let's rule the world!"

o0o

Helicarrier moved slowly through the sky, floating with deadly grace as it came closer and closer to its chosen target in the woods.


	5. Hell or high water

**A/N:** Kurama meets the Avengers. He's not amused.

* * *

 **Chapter 5: Hell or high water**

Constructing a plan with many variables was not something Loki was used to do. Yes, he was the chaos incarnate, and yes, there was nothing more alluring for him than a bit of mayhem breaking loose. But the best chaos was always the chaos tamed. Chaos planned and calculated, chaos thriving under control.

This was no control.

Madara was crazy, abyss beneath the Bifrost level crazy and if Loki had any doubts about it before, he surely left the delusions behind now. Going for the biggest, the deadliest threat in the known worlds couldn't contain any self-preservation – that would be expected. But doing so without any regard for such power? Ridiculous.

o0o

Madara wasn't really a great fan of tactics and his usual strategy usually ended at _attack with all you've got_. But even he realized that this wasn't a situation such an easy venture could resolve.

Well.

It wasn't like he already tried to overthrow an overlord once and ended up kicked out of his home universe, now was it.

Madara knew he was reckless (and hasty, and impulsive) at best, but was still able to appreciate a life lesson when he was pocked in the eye with one, thank you very much.

So planning it was.

Because Loki apparently managed to entangle himself with the forces he couldn't even wish to control or influence, not with his cheap _Bunshin_ tricks and his magical, endless pockets alone, and even going full Susanoo probably wouldn't come in their favour if Madara just charged the Titan head on as he'd normally do.

Damn it all, where was a Nara when you needed one!?

Madara sighed, scratching the back of his head and trying to make sense of the schemes Loki conjured between them when the Fox, little interested in the human banter and half-napping till now, suddenly jumped into attention, ears flying up.

 **"Something's coming,"** he growled, rising his enormous head to look at the sky. **"Something big."**

Kyuubi's ears twitched when he closed his eyes, clearly focusing on the potential threat and a nasty frown twisted his furry features a moment later.

 **"They're close."** Annoyed growl he let out was so low it was almost inaudible.

Of course.

Pursuit was expected, especially since Loki has told him about his… achievements earlier on the day. They probably should've predicted Earth's pet superheroes wouldn't allow their prey to get out of their claws so easily. That they would come for Loki sooner or later, kicking and screaming in an unavoidable fit. But Madara still wanted to rip his precious hair out his skull and scream desperately into the void because–

"Hey! You were supposed to be checking surroundings, you useless plush!"

 **"Call me that again and I'll show you useless!"**

Madara wasn't sure when exactly did he move from the branch he and Loki were sitting on, just that he was staring in one, angry red eye from much closer proximity than he should probably be comfortable with, gasping. Low hum coming from the Kyuubi's rather impressive throat was gradually increasing in volume, flooding his perception with a buzzing clang as it became louder and louder, and has Kyuubi always sounded like that?

 _Something was wrong_ _._

"How clo–" Madara wanted to ask the Fox, but the clearing they were on was suddenly flooded with bright lights _and fuck him gently with a Mokuton_ it was already too late to run, wasn't it.

Madara snapped out of his momentary haze rapidly and with a violent, sharp-edged _Shunshin_ he materialized behind Loki's surprisingly relaxed body, adrenaline rushing in his veins.

Ohhh, ne never thought he'll have the opportunity to play like this in this weird, chakra-less world .

"Play victim, magician," he whispered gleefully into the other man's ear as he pressed the sharp blade of kunai to the side of his neck.

This was going to be fun.

o0o

Nick Fury was pissed.

Not only had Loki stolen his cube, threatened his planet and compromised his agents, but also had the audacity to run away once they finally captured him.

 _Not for long, motherfucker._

Fury winced when the satellite connected screens displayed a huge, unknown creature in a close vicinity of the target and it was worrying. They didn't know if the creature was by any means connected to the Asgardians or if its appearance was a phenomenon of its own.

They knew nothing of level of the potential threat it posed, only that it could disappear, apparently at will, and cross significant distances unnoticed. Ridiculous, given it was at least two hundred feet high, red monster.

Fury wasn't very pleased with the development the situation took – it was bad enough with just Loki running loose – but he had absolutely no intention in losing this battle.

"Hill!" he called across the control room as they closed in on the target.

The woman in question turned away from the screens she was coordinating the ship movements on and looked at him with silent readiness.

"Make sure that fucker won't disappear again."

"Yes, sir."

o0o

Madara knew he was going to enjoy this the moment agents started flooding the clearing, sliding down from the invisible machine apparently floating above their heads. Beam lights that appeared out of nowhere turned the early morning into light show worth the brightest of days. Illumination almost hurt his eyes and it was only worse when Sharingan spun to life.

Intense wave of excitement washed over his body and Madara took in a deep, slow breath.

And then he _moved_.

Letting Loki out of his grip Madara dived right into the crowd of soldiers coming at him with black, pipe-y things of varying sizes. He didn't know what those things were able to do, but surely they couldn't measure up to any high rank jutsu. Certainly not to the crazy shit both Senju bastards were able to pull out of their asses at any given second and he survived them both!

And honestly, pissed off Tobirama with his teleportation, his freaky jutsus and his water dragons was a force to be reckoned with. That's not even mentioning how annoying fighting literal _wood_ was.

Yeah.

Whatever those people wanted to unleash upon him, he was expecting nothing more than a child's play level of defiance.

Fighting was exhilarating, though.

Madara has lived and breathed combat for as long as he could remember and there was always something freeing about it. Something thrilling in a way exchanging punches with a skilled opponent engaged your whole being. There was only your stealth, your skill and your endurance, pushed to the limits over and over until one party has finally snapped.

It was that sort of freedom only complete control could grant.

Assurance that no matter what, your moves are your own and are infallible. Polished to perfection through a thousand trials.

Madara enjoyed fighting, just physically. The unmistakeable glee of being better, faster, _stronger_ than the others, the heat of the moment when dodging and twirling out of the harm's line and then striking back like a threatened snake felt somewhat like dancing.

So he danced.

Ripped his way through the soldiers upcoming at him like stubborn swarm of insects, desperately trying to taste his blood but unable to reach him for long enough. He jumped and twirled and fell and backflipped between his opponents shattering throats, crushing noses and breaking bones and nobody was able to hear his laughter in the tumult of screaming voices and machinery clatter.

For a brief moment he saw Loki a few meters away from him doing exactly the same, except maybe for the laughing part, golden armour shining in the lights as he moved. There were illusions of him causing havoc and lethal misdirection among his nearest opponents and Madara had to admit that for such a basic skill set he was really efficient.

But he didn't stop to look at his comrade. Nor did he put much thought to how Kyuubi was doing, because loud, pretended snoring was indication enough that he hasn't been attached yet.

But half the second Madara had allowed himself be distracted was apparently enough for his opponents to strike back and raw, piercing pain exploded in his right leg, once, twice, _three times_ , giving him pause.

Madara looked down to see blood pouring from three puncture wounds on his thigh and a stinging sensation of flesh ripped open.

 _Huh_.

It took a second for everyone else to notice his motionless stance and follow the example. It felt like the whole brawl suddenly focused only on him, still and silent, waiting for him to collapse.

But it didn't happen.

Madara slowly touched one of the wounds, circling the edges with his gloved finger and turned around equally slow, searching for his abuser among those behind him.

And he found him shortly.

One of the masses, paralyzed by his own achievement in the middle of the fray. The pipe-y device still outstretched in his direction and expression behind the glasses and silly helmet stuck somewhere between shock and determination. Typical for a weakling who never really expected to succeed.

But then the man unfroze, surprisingly not only to Madara but probably mostly to himself and adjusting his aim for the head he shot again, screaming agonizingly, as if he knew this was his last chance to prove himself worthy. And sadly it was.

Madara dodged the bullet not looking back to see whose life it laid to waste and run through the series of hand seals faster than anyone could hope to acknowledge.

 _"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!_ _"_

The closest soldiers didn't stand a chance.

o0o

Mission tablet broke in Fury's hands with a loud, sickening crack.

"Did he just… spat a motherfucking _fireball_ at us!?"

"It seems so, sir. Yes."

"Hill! Get me the team! Yesterday!"

"Yes, sir."

o0o

Kurama was annoyed, just a little bit. He wasn't exactly a fan of humans invading his personal space and Uchiha constantly hopping around was a handful already. Kurama was also a creature of malice – or so he liked to think – and a little destruction was always game for him. But mostly he just wanted to nap.

So when a metal plate came frying at his head in the middle of a quarrel with said Uchiha, Kurama was not amused. In fact, he was very, very bloodthirsty and the poor, delusional fool who thought attacking him without serious consequences was about to find out just how _wrong_ he was.

Oh, well.

Uchiha wanted to wreck the place anyway.

Kurama smiled and turned to the enemy, all teeth up front. There were many tiny human figures in weird armours and bowl-like helmets swarming the clearing around them, and even more still sliding the ropes down from something big and noisy, that he could not see above the ground. He wished he could just fire a decent _Bijuudama_ and get rid of all the ants at once, but apparently that would have to wait. Stupid Uchiha.

Kurama wasn't going to take the offence lightly, though, oh no. There was that one human with a flashy, hideous blue and red-stripped jumpsuit no ninja ever would've worn into battle, and – _was that a joke?_ Kurama really hoped it was – who was preparing to throw that silly plate at him again.

Fuck no.

Kurama swung one of his beautiful tails at the oncoming Jumpsuit and plastered him nicely onto a tree.

 **"Tche,"** he growled, disgusted, in the general direction of the Uchiha and his new minion, tearing through the human troops with wild laugher again.

Why wasn't _he_ so easily entertained, again?

Oh yeah. Superior chakra beings had a reputation to maintain. Kurama wasn't going to lower himself to such pedestrian behaviour just because there were no other beasts around to judge him. He had standards.

He also couldn't let the ants assume he was just a pretty _plush_ – _Uchiha was so going to get down for that_ – so Kurama continued to lazily wave his tails around, causing massive holes in the environment. To keep himself occupied and the worms in rightful terror. Honestly, was these flies the best this plane had to offer? How very disappointing.

He yawned.

 _So disappointing._

o0o

Somewhere far, far away inside a riding truck, Doctor Erik Selvig was melting the iridium.

* * *

I had to rewrite this chapter _three fucking times_ because of _plot_. So if bits and pieces don't seem to really match up sorry, but I'm not going to do that _again_. But worry not, it'll all going to be wrapped up eventually :3


End file.
